Life after loss is weird. You need to continue living but your mind and your heart are stuck in the past. Trying desperately to hold on to any memory you can grab on to.
Losing my girl has been the hardest thing I have ever had to experience, second to losing my Grammy. It comforts me to think of them together, but the fact is I would rather them both be here with me. They both gave the best hugs.
Every moment, every single thing I do is somehow connected to my Lucy girl. The first thing I did in the morning, the last thing I did at night, the moments in between all seem to have a hole now. I have an overwhelming sense that I am forgetting something. My routine is different. And I am melancholy, which is not something I often am. But I miss my girl and she deserves to be missed.
Autumn is beginning to arrive and I am grateful for some joyful spots to look forward to. I dread the firsts though. The first time I return to Biltmore. It's my favorite place in the Fall. But it was Lucy's favorite place. We had a lot in common.
But I am going to do my favorite things. Even if they come with a bit of sadness.
I'll return to the studio this week and first thing on the agenda is to clean and get organized. It looks like a tornado went through there with the aftermath of my last market. I want to thank you to those of you who stopped by my tent at Grandad's Apples. My mom and my sister were kind enough to run my booth for me while I spent my final moments with Lucy. It was a gift I am so grateful for. I intended to have more Autumn art at the market, but with everything going on was unable to fulfill that intention. Please stay tuned as I plan to fill my website and my upcoming markets with lots of seasonal items to make up for that!
On the horizon:
I need a little time to ease back into things. I will be back in the studio at the end of the week, but I will be laying low. I'll be working on a few commissions and then hopefully in the next couple weeks I will get back to my Autumn works in progress. It's kind of hard to get back to working on something I was working on when she was still here. But I think given a little time I will be excited about the project again.
Thank you for giving me grace as I navigate my grief. I look forward to welcoming Autumn with you in the coming weeks 🧡
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